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Personal commitment to be involved
with another person for an extended period of time.
Mentors have a genuine desire to be part of another person's life. They
must be invested in the relationship over the long haul, to be there
long enough to make a difference.
Respect for individuals, their
abilities and their responsibility to make their own choices.
Mentors cannot come with the attitude that their own ways are the only
ways, and that their mentees need to be "rescued". Mentors who convey a
sense of respect in the relationship will win the trust of their
mentees, and the privilege of being their advisors.
Ability to listen and accept
different points of view.
Most youth can find someone who will give advice or express opinions.
It is much harder to find someone who will suspend judgment and really
listen. Mentors often help by simply listening, asking thoughtful
questions, and giving the mentee the opportunity to explore their own
thoughts with a minimum of intereference. A mentor is an accessible
resource and sounding board. When a mentee feels accepted, he is more
likely to ask for and respond to suggestions.
Ability to empathize with another
person's struggles.
Good mentors can "feel with" the mentee without feeling pity "for"
them. Mentors can encourage a mentee's efforts to overcome and rise
above his problems.
Ability to see solutions and
opportunities, as well as barriers.
Good mentors balance a realistic respect for the real problems faced by
their mentees with an optimism about seeking realistic solutions.
Mentors are able to look at issues and point out sensible alternatives.
They can applaud what is well done, they can suggest corrections, and
they can highlight personal strengths of the mentee which will aid them
in their struggles.
Flexibility and openness.
Good mentors realize that relationships take time to develop and that
communication is a two-way street. They are willing to take time to get
to know their mentees, and to learn what is important to their mentees.
Educate.
Good mentors give insights about keeping on task and setting
priorities. They instruct by example.
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